Pulling Out IV’s part 2

we went on a walk the other night, you asked me if we should go inside and watch a movie first or go for a walk to the park.

I chose the park

but the entire walk I new that was the wrong decision

we should have gone downstairs and watched some random romantic movie that would make me, or us, emotional.

it would have gone better that way.

but now we walk down the road not knowing what to talk about, and then I'm rambling off about some random shit that no one ever really cares about.

I never got to hold your hand, I never got to kiss your lips

I never got to feel the warmth on your skin

I knew that there were deep emotions, too hard for me to control, but why should I have to control it, because you are too scared, because we're told to always hold back....love

 back when I had an IV in my hip
I knew something was wrong
I never held back my opinion on pulling that IV out of my hip
I realized that I felt better with it out, holding back would have just caused me pain.
so why did I hold back my emotions, of all things?
it never seems to make sense. but it did at the time.
and I guess that's what happens.
things just happen to change from time to time, even if we don't mean for them to change
its all just shitty luck in the end